Hey VW (pun intended),
Not rambling at all. It is a form of healing to write it down and share. No one is going to knock you for it. An added plus is that someone who might just be in a similar situation to you will come along and find some solace in your words. I know, I have kept my own thread running from day one. Just to remind me how I felt so I never go through this again.
Congrats on the sobriety, it gets easier with every day. The magic words - I will not drink today.
Cheers,
ZAB