I'm sorry that you drank yesterday but I can relate entirely about the family boundaries.
Personally, by the time I engage my "hmm, this is crossing a boundary" I'm already seething and internalising all that anger. My plan is to get sassy. And by that I mean, stand up for myself. I recommend! I told my family this week on the phone after a conversation that they made me feel uncomfortable and I wouldn't discuss the issue with them anymore. It was one of the most liberating things I have done for a while.