Hi there. I'm so glad you posted. One of the things that helped me during those "will power and won't power" struggles was AVRT. You can google it, but basically it is learning how to distinguish the addictive voice from ME!!! Not only does this technique work with addiction, but it works in soooo many aspects of life especially relationships. Learning to discern that destructive addictive voice has blessed me so much. It gets much quieter when it can't get its way so there is no more fighting or struggling.
I'm so glad you posted. Please keep on posting and please post before you take the drink. As someone else posted, the relapse starts long before the actual drink. We can talk all that thru with you and help you change directions. The people here have helped me more than I could ever say.