Welcome! Do you know what it means to be an alcoholic? I used to have a pretty screwed up perception of what an alcoholic is. I wasn't living in the streets asking for change and drinking thunderbird so I must not have been one!
Then I learned what it meant to be one. Looked at the thinking thing.
And my thinking was the same as the gutter drunk and also the high priced attorney.
So, the main thing for me, other than not just not wantign to drink anymore, was wanting to do something about it- finding something that could help
Me. My thinkin got me to the point of desperation, it wasn't gonna help me get and stay sober.
I found AA and have been sober since. Not only that, but I also love myself and don't regret any of my past behavior.