Thanks everyone so much for your supportive, kind words. Means more than I can ever say.
I definitely feel a load better now, after a week of meditation. Though a bit tired from spending a lot of time on the motorbike - Wat Tam Wua is on the Mae Hong Son loop road, and decided to follow that all the way around and back to Chiang Mai.
Should be OK - just going to chill with a book at my guesthouse I think - picked up some Jack Kerouac on a book-swap shelf! Getting back to Chiang Rai in a couple of days, looking forward to seeing friends and being back home for a bit.
Though feeling a bit anxious as my school suddenly decided they aren't going to use my agency this year - meaning me and the other agency teacher both now have to find new jobs. I've been offered a position already, for more money. But with the other guy it's a different story, as while I'm a native speaker of English, he isn't - he's French.
And he's got an English wife who's extremely heavily pregnant, who's also a teacher at the moment, but who's going to have to stop working for a bit at some point, as it's due any week now.
But thats another worry for another time - given how well I was doing in CR, should hopefully be pretty easy to get back on it (so to speak) - without the being without friends, in a party hostel, in the craziness of Songkran, I was living happily, healthily and sober.
And now I've got the Buddha - I *AM* my own "higher power"
xxxx