I'm sorry you have been feeling so alone little bear
I hate feeling like that. It is so hard to always be toeing the line, doing everything for everyone with little or no support! Please pick back up with your sobriety~ 70 days, what a great start
. I know you don't want to do aa, but maybe you could check out meetup.com. They have some great groups and while they may not be sobriety based maybe you could have some fun? Meet some different people? I have a lot of trouble with this issue myself plus overwork. I hope you feel better very soon.