Back from vacation :)
So I brought my recovering or addict husband with me and our two kids. We had an amazing time in Disney and he had obviously not used drugs the whole time we were down there.
BUT - as soon as we get back his self destructive behavior resumes. He thinks I don't notice. Why should I say something when he will just deny it anyway. So, I think to myself what I want to do. I go over the pros and cons in my head. I pretty much have been battling myself not knowing what I should do - if I should DO anything at all.
Right now his van has been broken down since Thanksgiving. He works for me at my business as a driver 3 days a week. He only takes $10 per day and the rest goes in my bank to pay for bills/rent/life. The money helps especially since I have had teeth emergencies and vehicles emergencies. I'm getting through it thankfully with a lot of help from my family. He is subscribed suboxine which I accidentally found out he sold 20 of his pills. He forgot them in the glove compartment and I happened to see them and my curiosity got the best of me and I counted them. I didn't go out of my way it sort of just slapped me in the face. Well - it only confirmed what I already knew. So, even having proof doesn't make anything different. I have made comments to him that i'm not sure what I want to do. He knows that I know but is waiting for my next move. I told him this morning that I don't want to live like this. It's scary that he wants to continue to use a substance that can kill him, put him back in jail and wreck his character. Rationally makes no sense to use if hes subscribed drugs to not use. The only explanation is he's not done. I don't trust him with money at all. He's not a partner but more of a helper.
I'm sad that he's just so helpless. He tries to be over nice to me and really plays a good game. He's nice to me, doesn't hurt me, plays with the kids - but when he spirals out of control he is very financially abusive. Even though I have protected myself every way financially from him.
I don't know what i'm going to do. I'm just putting it out there. Thanks for listening.
P.S. I have continued to log my food and take care of myself.