Your feelings and what you perceive as confusion are totally normal, I think. Not even just for early sobriety, but in life in general. We all are walking contradictions, I think that makes humans interesting
Well, one interesting thing. I do get your feeling disturbed about these irrational and contradictory feelings though, I often have the same, because typically I tend to strive for order and consistency. But emotions just don't work that way... I also completely understand if you feel uneasy about the jealousy. That's a big issue for me as well sometimes... normally I don't tend to experience jealousy often, and even then typically not intensely -- the idea of people wanting to "own"each-other always makes me cringe, I know it's a natural feeling but, for me, it is in direct opposition with some features that are central and very dominant in my value system, which is personal freedom. So when I do feel jealous, I tend to really struggle with it and tend to hide it because I don't want to behave inconsistently with those things that I always preach. But then I'm conflicted again, because honesty is also something I feel very strongly about in general. It can get complicated.
If you are in therapy, I would think that's the best place to bring up and discuss these feelings! If you are inclined to write, I agree it can be very useful and therapeutic. And if you do it here, you may help a lot of other people with sharing your experiences and insights. Writing was also recommended to me by my former therapist in the beginning, and I decided to actually journal about the therapy process itself, and lots of stuff related to it. I have a tendency that I often have delayed emotional reactions... so I am not always able to fully reflect on whatever is discussed in therapy, right in the moment. I go home and write tons of stuff as they come up, associations, more intellectual/philosophical analyses related to all of it, whatever. And share all that stuff with therapist. My first one even used some of what came from me in his teaching, apparently; I was very happy to learn that. I have a new therapist now... about two months in... and this is a whole different experience and relationship, also more intense as I go 3 times a week instead of once previously. If you are looking for "distraction" that you can also infuse with your emotions, I find the therapy thing a great way to do that, and it's much more because the information gathered is actually extremely useful and beneficial. I'm so immersed in this right now that I don't even have emotional capacity left for an intimate relationship at the moment. It's something I've always wanted to experience and use it for my benefit, so I'm quite stoked. It also gets confusing at times, but it's part of the process
I agree that our quality of life depends more on how we subjectively experience and handle it rather than the actual events. Perhaps this is true more for those of us who tend to be quite introspective and reflective, and you definitely strike my as someone like that, so I think the approach will work for you well.
As for the feelings about your ex: they will pass. I actually would not recommend using dating now as distraction or substitute, because it may not become a "real" relationship, more your projected feelings on someone new who might not even have a clue and you might also "wake up" one day feeling that you don't truly want the whole thing. Again, take it to your therapy if you can, if you are working with someone very good, it might become a pretty unique and very helpful experience.