I always had a lot of manic behavior surrounding me when I drank. I could accomplish a lot of busy things. I pushed myself to see how much I could do to prove to myself and others I'm not a drunk, look what I can do!!
In sobriety I had to recognize this mania for what it was. Even a washing machine works hard - it doesn't make it smart.
My challenge was to quell and quiet my brain. I had to find a way to slowwwww things way down into smaller bites. Focus on now and stay in the present. My days of grand plans and long term achievement had to be put aside.
I need to stay sober, just for today. Not for a life time - that was too long and I did not know what that even meant, still don't.
But I learned from others wisdom if I could keep things simple, stay sober today, perhaps begin to have some level of spiritual nature (however one defines that) and do some basic meditation I might stand a chance or real sobriety, perhaps.
I started that path on 6/9/2014 and have not changed it very much. I still stay focused on today's challenges and don't future trip
Glad you're back with us! Together WE stay sober......