Grrrrr. enough is enough.
Hello everyone,
ive been reading this forum for about a year and half, and never posted. i finally need to let loose on everything going on.
I'll save you all the "we met, fell madly in love..." shenanigans and get right to the point. the dude was HIGHLY addicted to norco. now i am an RN in an ER. i had no stinking clue....what a complete shock. i mean i knew something was up-but never in my wildest dreams did i think it was drugs. i hate drugs so much i make it a point to ask on first dates if that is a thing..of course he lied.
so over the last year and a half-things have been awful..and yes i stuck it out. i think he's been off pills now for 7 months, and on suboxone treatment. he was still awful to be with, disappearing, acting crazy, well come to find out he's been smoking weed regularly for the last year. again-I HAD NO CLUE...but this time i knew that there was stuff going on. but i shouldn't worry because it isn't his drug of choice and theres a difference between drug use and abuse....these were things he said to me when i officially told him i was done. never mind the fact his behavior is crazy, and the fact he has lied about it and hid it---just means this is now his new addiction. wonderful. he's so stupid!!!!!!!!!
what gets to me and drove me to post tonight after reading so many stories, from addicts and from everyone around them....
I'm really stinking angry. i didn't ask for this, in fact ive stayed so far away from drugs my entire life. i'm a great person, i'm 32, fairly pretty, funny, driven, spontaneous, i have a great career... why did i let this go on for so long?!?!? this is all his problem!!!!! its not my problem. its unfair that this has grown to effect me the way that it has now i'm the one seeking help so that i don't ever go through this again. i didn't ask for this.
i gave him the boot after learning about the marijuana use...now i just gotta remember that i deserve so much better. that theres someone out there who would never think to put me through all this. someone who loves me and cares about me, and doesn't put a substance first in their life. someone who doesn't need a substance to live their life.
k thanks for letting me vent. and thanks for letting me read all of the stories of heartbreak, frustration, sadness on here. there have been plenty of nights i read this forum for hours and hours and hours.