Almost broke down a few hours ago ... Very very close ... Got in the shower to get ready to go to the liqour store and just stayed in there for a long time playing tug of war in my head ... Got ready and had talked myself down to about 50\50 to drink or not ... Drove around for awhile headed to get booze ... Passed a McDonalds and pulled in and pigged out on some double cheeseburgers ... Sat there for awhile and came home ... Feel better now