I now realize a lot of people have addictions and that explains their weird behavior.
But I'm only trying to save myself nowadays.
Also I have a much better understanding of my parents' and relatives' weaknesses, I feel compassion instead of anger for them because I see that they are carrying pain from previous generations.
And I don't rely on them for validation, so my relationship with them has vastly improved, I have boundaries and they respect my boundaries and I respect theirs.