My 'higher bottom' was over a year and a half ago. 2 years ago, my bottom was higher, 3 years ago, the bottom was higher.
Every relapse has been worse. All alcoholics say this because it is true; it took me a long time to realize this. I think we tend to be stubborn people with short memories. :/
I agree with Ruby. Guilt and fear never did it for me; those feelings actually made my drinking worse. I was a young-ish, healthy mother who was afraid that I was going to kill myself from drinking. If I wanted to die, well, there are other ways, right? Self-preservation kicked in somehow after all of my attempts.
I personally am not a believer in the disease theory of alcoholism. For me, it seemed like more of a secondary issue, a symptom, really. My problem has always been in perfectionism, workaholic-ism, procrastination, self-deprecation and avoidance. I realized that I needed to work from the inside out and found a recovery program that fit me, one with a more pragmatic approach. Everyone has something that works best for them, I hadn't found mine yet.
The one thing I know: you cannot survive in the news industry as an alcoholic. It is a very stressful atmosphere that may lead you to alcohol, but you won't stay there if you keep drinking. You got a great break and a wonderful opportunity. You have to decide what you want more and why (no sarcasm here, just a open-ended question).
Best of luck to you.