I relapsed after 3 months about 3 weeks ago. It was the best thing I ever did because as a punishment (humiliation) I went to an AA meeting. I realised my greatest mistake was thinking I could do it alone. I know now that I didn't know what it was. I thought it was not drinking. IT for me is learning how to live sober. I no longer count the days but instead work on improving myself.
I went to AA as a self punishment and found a place where I could learn to live and not count days, make sober friends, be heard, listen and learn and finally feel confident that I won't drink myself to an early grave.
Good luck with life
(Oh, & AA isn't religious - I atheist and fit right in)