Bmac

I'm sure most of you have heard it:
"Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water"
"After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water"

My life before I started drinking was a daily exercise in the futility of going to work, to pay bills, so I have a roof to sleep under, so I can go to work the next day, in order to pay the next set of bills. Lather, rinse, repeat. Totally lacking in anything that gave me a feeling of meaning or purpose.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I tried. I joined gyms, book clubs, online dating, therapy...ad infinitum. Still felt like I was just chopping wood and carrying water. No joy. No real happiness. Just going through the motions day in and day out.

Then came the interlude of drinking, which did give me happiness until it turned on me like it has done to all of us who are here. I ran with it until I could no longer. Thus, that option has been scratched.

Fast forward to today. Now I'm sober! Hooray! I get a new lease on life. And what is that life now? Exactly as it was before the drinking; chopping wood, carrying water. No real joy, no real feeling of daily happiness. Just going through the motions. Work to pay bills so I can go to work.

Anyone relate? Anyone climb to the other side? If so, what worked for you?