Welcome Nevermind. Many have been caught in the cycle you suggest of returning to alcohol on a regular basis.
The solution for most is to follow a regimen or "plan" to stay sober. There are a lot of ways to do it, some use meetings ( AA/Life Ring, etc ), some use Self-Paced plans or Self Help methods like AVRT, mindfulness, etc, Some seek rehab ( inpatient or outpatient ), some seek psychiatric help, and some do a little of everything.
I am guessing that if you have had 2 suicide attempts you have seen a doctor or a therapist? If not that would be a good idea. Most of us have underlying issues that we tried to mask with alcohol, and when you stop drinking they come on stronger than ever. A therapist or a recovery plan ( or both ) can help you learn healthy ways to deal with those issues rather than trying to hide from them by getting drunk.
SR itself is a fantastic support mechanism too. There are daily and monthly threads you can join and a wealth of information. Stick around and ask lots of questions, we "get it" and want to help.