Indenia
You're here, and that's a step forward!
You didn't throw away your year of sobriety, as long as you've learned from it, you're going in the right direction :-)
When you said about other people almost dictating your feelings, I can relate to that. My most recent "slip" was partly due to this factor. I definitely need to work on that.
We are all here to support each other, stick around :-)