Evening all,
Well I have reached the end of day fourteen. Two whole weeks and two weekends sober.
Physically, I am a little tired. The fatigue hit me at about 14:00 today. So I am going to try going to sleep a little earlier. I am doing a lot of walking at work. I know that it's not running, but walking strengthens the muscles you need for running, so I feel it is not a lost cause. The numbness under my skin on the side of my face is there. It seems to grow the more tired I get. I had a headache when I got home, so I took something for it. I am making progress here as I only took headache powders twice today. The hand shakes are there, they also seem grow in proportion to how tired I am.
Mentally, it was a good day. I managed to complete more work than what I had planned for. This is great as I have caught up most of the work that I didn't do when I was drinking. It is also allowing me to draw ahead slightly, which gives me more free time to read the posts here on SR. I do find my thoughts drifting from time to time, but it does not require the huge amount of effort to drag them back into focus as it did when I was drinking. On some days while I was drinking, I could barely sign my name, never mind sign a drawing off. Concentration is also good, and I seem to be able to focus for longer periods each time.
Emotionally, it has been a mostly stable day. I did have some down moments towards the end of my day. I think that could mainly be as a result of the T out of HALT - tiredness. The emotions did stabilize after I got home, had a cigarette and my relaxing bath. I think it is another point in favor of my argument this morning that some of these emotions are the direct work of the AV. Especially if you can put it in the self pity box.
I almost made another fatal mistake today. I did not pay attention to the H from HALT - hunger. Although I was hungry today, I did not eat. For some reason, I just put it off. In doing this the AV was very active today. Luckily I could use AVRT to banish it, but it was not pleasant having the AV ride me the whole day. I made sure that I had a big dinner and that seems to have stopped the AV for now.
So I have learnt some valuable lessons today. This is something I need to take note of and pay special attention to from now on. I think that now that most of the withdrawal symptoms have gone, the real battle begins. I still do not have a physical craving for the alcohol, but I can see that it is now becoming a mental and emotional battle. I finished my book - there is a monkey in my shoulder and have started with - A mans way through the twelve steps. Again, it is AA centered and focuses on fellowship and meetings. There is still some great advice and it is a good read.
Anyways, have a good one people.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB