Welcome,
I was also deep into blackout drama. I too, became aggressive verbally and even physically a few times. Waking up the next day I could gave died of the shame, depression, and honestly confusion. Where did those things even come from?
The only way to stop the blackouts was to stop drinking completely. I tried for years to moderate and try to not black out that obviously that did not work. It's a big relief to know that I will never black out again as long as I don't drink. I never thought I would stop. I didn't really think I had it in me but I did so you can too.