Hey JustMe! I can completely relate to everything you're feeling; there are times where I'm afraid im just taking an alcohol break while I get my ducks in a row with my money, house, truck and weight issues. I think it comes from the sometimes overwhelming discomfort I have when things in my life aren't in order. Maybe that's something you're experiencing? But then I think about how great I've felt this last month, and how much better my relationships are with everyone, and how nice it feels to wake up and remember everything that happened and not miss that immediate shame and fear that came as soon as I opened my eyes and I know that in this moment there isn't a drink in the world that I would trade that for. Everyone on here seems to have good advice for you, And I'm rooting for you!