Thanks guys, I guess I should stop posting here as I have failed, but I can assure you I have in no way forgotten what I have learnt about the seriousness of my situation over the last few days. For the first time I have the firm desire to stop drinking now. I never imagined it would be like this, I imagined I would choose a date, have a last bottle of my favourite wine and stop with a plan and support assembled. But I didn't realize the urgency.