Originally Posted by ZaBoozer

Morning all, Well it is the start of day thirteen for me. Before I carry on with this mornings post, I just want to complete yesterday nights entry. So yesterday morning I went and bought myself some snazzy shoes for work. Something with foam retention - whatever that might be. It just felt good. I went to the cinema and found out that the earliest show was one and a half hours away, so I treated myself to a double bacon and cheese burger with chips at the wimpy. For those of you that don't know wimpy - it is like your burger king. I finished my whole meal. This is a new thing for me. Somehow with sobriety, not only do I have the appetite, but I also have the stamina to eat the whole meal, not just pick at it. After the burger I went to the movies. I saw some mindless movie about mercenaries in the Congo. Gunman with Sean Penn. There were only two of us in the cinema, so I didn't feel bad tonking on my silver cigar throughout. Either way, it was a way to fill up two hours of my time. Last night I treated myself to that steak. I did not have my usual chips and onion rings, but rather a baked potato with it. I had four NA beers with dinner. I was rather chuffed (slang for impressed) with myself as I had no urge for alcohol. I think I have found the right combination of NA beers that I like to drink. I will have two Bavaria NA's (original) and two Becks' NA. It is quite a nice combo as I get the malty taste from the Bavaria and the fizzy lemony taste from the Becks. I had my usual evening arnica infused bath. I think this is helping with the relaxing of my muscles and mind. I feel quite relaxed when I get out the bath in the evenings. I lay on the bed and read for a bit. It wasn't long before my eyes were drooping. I dropped of fairly quickly and easily. Alas, I still woke up and my usual time. I think that the way for me to get more sleep in is to go to bed a bit earlier. No convulsions either last night. It seems as if I might be getting somewhere with the insomnia monster now. That brings us to today. Physically, I am feeling great. I woke up without a headache, but it has slowly returned. It is not as vicious as the past days, but it is there. I have decided to ride it out and not take anything for it, unless it gets unbearable. I am feeling rested. I do have the usual ailments, but they are weakening everyday. The hand shakes are barley noticeable. When I say this, I can see them, because I am looking for them. Others do not see them. The burning under the skin on the side of may face is still there, but so feint. The insomnia monster seems to be at bay for now, so lets hold thumbs for that. And the headache is there, but not a killer like before. Mentally, I am sharp as can be. I have tasks to do around the house. When I was drinking I would put them off, but now that I am sober I feel motivated to get them done and out of the way. Another thing that comes with sobriety is pride. I have been taking more care of my appearance and dress. When I was drinking I didn't really care much for how I dressed. Don't get me wrong, work was always ok, but around the house or popping into the shops I didn't really care. I look forward to my morning and evening bath. It is probably the most relaxing times of my day. It sort of helps me reign in and gather my thoughts into a coral so that I might be able to manage them. Emotionally, I feel ok today. For the past two days my emotions are not flitting all over the place. They are more consistent, which in a good way allows me to address them. It is very hard to address anything that is flitting all over the place. For this alone, I am grateful. Sometimes the emotions are not what you really want, but at least it is consistent. I am finding that it is easier to deal with and bear a consistent emotion than what it is to deal with a torrent of emotions. So where does this leave me today? Well I think that all things considered, I am in as good a place as I deserve to be. I did not think that I would ever recover this much with all the booze that I have consumed over the years. I can only be thankful for every bit of recovery that I do make. The consequences of my drinking are mine and mine alone to bear. There are many things that I should count my blessings for. I didn't get into an accident and kill some poor innocent while being pissed behind the wheel. I didn't end up in jail etc. Although not the most upstanding, mature or moral of behaviour, it is something to be grateful for. The fuse was lit and it was only a matter of time before it blew up in my face. Anyway, have a great Sunday out there. Be safe and be strong. Cheers, ZAB