EG, I have only just today found this thread. Read through it all, up to now.
It felt a bit feeble to only click on the 'thanks' button during the bulk of the story and responses. But, maybe there's a time in our lives when even seeing those acknowledgements from people around the world can add a tiny bit to the comfort you mention receiving...and needing.
I have always admired you hugely, as an erudite and considered chap. You bolster Socrates' argument that the unexamined life is not worth living. [One of my retorts occasionally to people who say 'you think too much']. Most of those don't realise that we not only 'think', but feel and experience, and it's all an indivisible package. Hence Socrates' point.
In some respects - i.e. not telling others about their bodily or mental suffering - your sister sounds very like my two sisters. One is recently deceased and the other, the eldest, is equally stoically (or stubbornly) silent on such matters.
Having said that, I am glad that you've felt able to reach out here to this group of motley fools myself included from around the world. As you no doubt know, another of our wise elders (!) is also engaging in deep, heartfelt conversazione about his trials and tribulations with life-threatening cancer. Many of us have talked with our friends here on the boards about all manner of enormous difficulties and griefs, myself included in late last year.
I wish I could 'do' something for you, sir. But of course, as you well know - and as your sister is now coming to terms with - sometimes there is little we can 'do'. We can only 'be'. As my dead sister said to our eldest sister not long before she died: 'A, some things just can't be "fixed"'. We're a fix-it society - yes, even over here in Great Southern Land. We can only practise a degree of acceptance. I believe you mentioned that in one of your more recent posts in March. Mind you, I agree with you that a spot of rage would also be a sign of your sis' walk towards acceptance. Totally concur with you on that.
You don't need the likes of me to add to the urgings to care for yourself as best you can. Verte's suggestions among others seemed most apposite. I like that you have a dojo to go to. If I had the physical abilities, I'd do the same!
Heartfelt wishes and regards,
Victoria