My Story Part 1
It's been a while since I've written anything on SR. Maybe since 2013? It's been a bumpy road since then, but I'm happy to say I've now got 105 days sober.
I realized I had a drinking problem in January 2010. Up to that point I had been a big drinker, of course, but that was the first time I literally woke up to the fact that my relation with booze was totally out of control.
The first thing I did upon this realization was quit booze for 3 months. It was good. I experienced a taste of that peace and clarity and consistency that comes from sobriety. I did not go to AA, though, and treated the whole thing as a "break from booze" instead of what I really needed, which was to stop altogether.
After the three months was up I headed to the bar with some friends and ordered a whiskey. I used to down that stuff like water. This time, in my newly clean and sober system, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember being amazed that I had built up a tolerance to something so potent, and recall thinking I didn't want to go down that road again.
It didn't take long, a few weeks maybe, before I was a long way down that road and then some. One night of drinking led to the next day's hangover, the pain of which was tempered by another consecutive night of drinking, which resulted in another hungover, which demanded more drinking, etc etc etc. The vicious cycle just took over. Seductively at first, then insistent, demanding and overpowering.