You are not weak. You are like a lot of us on here and so desperately want to see the best in our A and want so much for the person we fell in love with to return. For me, I had to finally face the fact that my STBXAH wasn't working a program and wasn't accepting he has a problem. So I could no longer see the person I fell in love with, I had to open my eyes to the person standing before me. And that person wasn't anyone I wanted to waste precious life and time on. If he chooses to work a program and get help for his abuse than I will be supportive and go back. But unfortunately I didn't cause it, can't cure it and cannot control it! Maybe try to see her with fresh eyes for who she is showing you. And she isn't getting help or admitting there is a problem. I have heard they have to hit rock bottom before they will seek help. Maybe the thought of loosing you will be her rock bottom? Sending you hugs and hoping for you to find peace, joy and happiness for yourself regardless what your AW is doing or not doing.