52 days
Hello Fellow Class Mates:
52 days for me. Went through 2 birthday parties (my parents) and there was alcohol everywhere. I drank my club soda and lime and I was not tempted to drink but I did find myself bored and tired. I mean it was wonderful to see my parents celebrate another year of life - for that I am grateful. Anyway - I managed and that's the main thing.
My rehearsals for the upcoming play are going well - I am off script now and I think this is great. I can remember and I can memorize lines.
I had kept a journal last year, and I went back and reread it - wow, I was a mess. It was hard to read. I was hungover every morning - I was miserable, angry, depressed and sick. It was a nightmare.
I can say that right now I am still lonely and I am trying to meet new people and get out there. I guess it just takes time.
Physically, I am getting better. Blood pressure is normal. This morning it is 110/72 (now that's a good enough reason to stay sober). I haven't lost much weight but I think I may be putting on some muscle. I'm still eating far too much chocolate. I know I am doing emotional eating - it helps with the loneliness.
Nymets - I have been reading about your struggle and I'd like to offer a suggestion. I find that saying "one day at a time" doesn't work for me because I have to make that decision every day. It's a huge decision to make every day and it offers me no peace. I've found AVRT to be much easier and more calming. I've made a "small" plan and that is:
I do not drink - I will not drink for one year.
That way I do not have to make that decision every day. Now, when my year comes around I am hoping I will make the BIG plan of I do not drink and will NEVER change my mind. I find having to make a decision every day of will I or won't I drink to be pure torture and just primes me for a relapse (or an excuse).
Anyway - that is what is working for me. If I go out somewhere where alcohol is served and my AV starts up, I recognize it, and say "I don't drink". I don't fantasize about drinking and don't worry about it.
Hope this helps.
CF