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Old 04-16-2015, 06:34 PM
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labgirl
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 240
Unhappy Why can't i quit?

I'm going to try not to whine here. I've gone to numerous AA meetings over the past 2 weeks, I'm reading the BB and I'm reading posts and blogs on SR, but I still can't stay away from alcohol. When I get upset, stressed or too emotional I inevitably turn to a bottle. I was actually clean for 8 full days. I was so happy and positive during that time. But then I fell back and ever since its been an every other day thing.

What's wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself. Inevitably after drinking I feel the shame, weakness, disgust with myself. Honestly I simply wish I could die. I am so afraid that this is what my life will be like for now on. I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I've emailed an addiction therapist. I pray that this will help.

Anyway, I know what I should do when the stress/cravings start; exercise, walk, watch a movie, sleep, etc. I don't know why I don't do these things. I guess I'm just wanting the alcohol too badly. how stupid is that?

Anyway, I pray that I will be able to kick this junk. I'm sick to death of this kind of life.
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