Close call Mets. Good job. At the end of the day, you're the one who has to live with himself. So you can get back on the hamster wheel - the one I call SHELF - shame, hopelessness, embarrassment, loathing and fear - whenever you want. It's the affliction we suffer from - faced with SHELF and all manner of other ramifications, we still want to drink. We want to be normal, but we aren't. It's hard to accept. I'm not trying to be preachy, because I came very close last week too. Play the tape forward, all the way through. You might need to learn the lesson again, but I hope not.
Have you considered AA or some other kind of group support? You don't sound like a solitary person, and not drinking seems to be forcing you into a solitary existence. You might enjoy the social aspect of it in order to bridge the gap until you're more comfortable living a sober existence. Just a thought.
At about 2 months in, with much failure behind me, I realize I'm probably not the best person to be doling out advice. But I'm pulling for you.