Hey there, welcome!
I'll tell you the very BEST thing I ever heard at my first AA meeting--you NEVER have to feel this way again.
And you know what? That was six and a half years ago, and they were right. I never did.
And don't worry about crying at the meeting. We are used to crying when people are new. My bet is that after the meeting you will feel a LOT better. Get lots of phone numbers (from other ladies--the women stick together in AA).