Hi, new here, can't stop crying, going to first meeting today.
Hi.
Yesterday morning I woke up with a bad feeling. I once again couldn't remember going to bed. But I just knew something bad had happened. When I came downstairs there was salt all over my chair. Which meant I'd spilled wine on it. My Husband was at work and when I hadn't heard from him by 4pm I knew I'd once again done something to **** him off and I must have very drunk.
When he did ring he proceeded to tell me I was once again very drunk, I became argumentative and spilled my wine over the chair and wouldn't clean it up so he placed the salt on it. I apologised and said I'd not eaten any dinner. Nope that didn't cut it with him. He very clearly outlined to me that this has been happening every night for too long. He said he is worried. He never said I had to stop.
I feel extremely ashamed. I have known for about 10 years now that I'm a slave to the bottle, but kept saying I have it under control. I don't. My life revolves around waiting till 4pm when I can have my first drink.
I made a decision last night and rang the AA help line. Spoke to a lovely lady and am going to a meeting today at 11am.
Texted my husband last night to apologise and told him of my decision to go to AA. When he came home he said he will support me and we will get through this.
Why can't I stop crying? Since last night when i made the decision to ring AA I just can't stop crying. Not big sobs just leaking eyes.
I look forward to reading everyones stories and finding strength on this forum.