kik5, your post speaks to me enormously. I think your approach to drinking prior to your sobriety is very similar to mine, and we seem to have suffered much of the same consequences.
Especially the thought that 'when I get myself in a more stable situation, I will sort myself out'. I thought this had happened to me for a while - I was in a relationship (only 6 months) and during this time significantly reduced both the quantity and frequency of my drinking. We parted due to me permanently leaving the country, and I thought I was still ok as when I was back in my home country I continued with more controlled behaviour. Then what I described in the first post of my recent thread happened. All these months of more sensible drinking, and then a big bender which resulted in by far my worst ever hangover/withdrawal.
I guess the recovery has to come before the stability and not the other way around.