Ah, Rose, my kindred spirit!
I have had bulimia for almost 30 years. I am an alcoholic too, but I've now been sober for well over 2 years. And, whilst still a problem at times, the bulimia is more under control than it's ever been.
And happiness? Well, I've never known anything like it before! I've hated myself for as long as I can remember but since ditching the wine I've felt my self esteem soar. I can even look at myself in the mirror now without (always) flinching.
I feel a deep peace inside. It's as though something reached within me, taking out the pain and replacing it with tenderness and compassion. It's transformed the way I look at life and at myself.
While I was still drinking I couldn't begin to tackle the bulimia. I would use wine to stop me from eating but would eat everything in sight when hungover or feeling guilty. One drove the other and I was convinced that I wasn't worthy of recovery from either.
Now I KNOW that I AM worthy of recovery and I'm definitely worthy of the happiness it brings. AND SO ARE YOU!
Stick with it, Rose, it will take you to a place you've never even dreamt of xxx