Originally Posted by
Impurrfect 
I showed up at my doctor's office, in tears, one day. I just blubbered out my feelings.
Yeah, I broke down in front of a total stranger, a clinical social worker. After that, the cat was kind of out of the bag, you could say.
ToW, I guess what people are saying is that you should seek some professional help as soon as possible -- where that might lead you, it's hard to predict. But it sounds like you've reached the point where doing without help is harder than asking for it. That's a scary place, but it can lead to better things.