Sadness
I often start or finish my posts with 'I don't know why I am posting this' and this applies here.
I just find at the moment I am feeling really sad and really flat.
I'm not working at the moment, so I am on my own a lot.
However, I feel thats probably for the best, as I'm not really good company.
I sometimes struggle with a feeling of 'whats the point?'
It makes me feel bad to think this way as I have a daughter.
Its almost like I want to apply a big 'so what?' to everything at the moment.
I've resigned myself to living how my life is now for the long term.
Its not bad, I have lots to be grateful for.
I don't envisage having another relationship as I go nowhere to meet anyone.
It does worry me how flat and unexcited I am about life.
I shouldn't feel like it when I have a child. I feel bad that I do have the thoughts I have.
The only way I can expand on the thoughts is to that I get very little joy out of anything.
I'm happy I don't drink anymore, but with it there seems to have come some very difficult questions about what is the point.
I was thinking the other day about people who have bucket lists of things they would like to do.
All I could think was if I had anything I wanted to do or see, which I don't think I have, I doubt I would have any satisfaction ticking them off my list when I had done them.
Does anyone else get these feelings and how do you cope with them or sort them out when you do get them?
Sorry, sorry, sorry