Do you....
drink because you hate yourself or hate yourself because you drink?
For me I drank out of guilt. I felt guilty that I could not save my sister from 9/11 terrorists. And the guilt turned to self loathing. So I drank more and then that turned to self hate because I had turned into a person I swore I would never become. It was a complete spiral from a precipitating event, although I probably was an alcoholic before I ever drank.
One must have a modicum of self love to even entertain the idea of stopping their self destructive behavior. And develop and nurture that self care to sustain sobriety. It is VERY hard! Physical and psychological determinants are pulling at you daily.
But, it CAN be done as this forum attests to. Takes work and committment to the Nth degree.