That's the hallmark of alcoholism - trying very hard to rationalise we don't have a problem.
Many of us confuse abstinence for control - the old logical fallacy 'I obviously don't need to drink anymore...so I must be ok to drink again...'
Many of us found that sooner of later after we reintroduced alcohol into our lives, the old toxic relationship reasserted itself and we ended smack bang back at square one.
Don't fall for the fallacy SF
D