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Old 04-13-2015, 07:52 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
heartcore
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
The other thing about a sobriety plan is that some aspects of it are adaptive, changing as your sobriety needs change, while at its core it is totally inflexible "I will not drink, no matter what happens."

My plan involved 90 in 90 AA meetings the first three months (adapted around a very busy work schedule, so they weren't every day, but I doubled or tripled up on weekends. I also counted any meetings with my sponsor to work on steps as a meeting). I now go to an AA meeting from 1-3 x a week. That part is flexible, but quitting entirely is not for me; I promised myself that I would stay through irritation, because I know myself, and it is easy for me to exit with all sorts of reasoned arguments & I need sobriety accountability in my small town... Example - I went to breakfast yesterday with a "Normie" friend, had the fleeting Mimosa thought one gets in a restaurant with Sunday brunch, but there were two different AA members in the same restaurant with their families. This helps more than I would have credited it in the past.

Other aspects of my plan:
I do SR pretty much every day & focus on giving support (committed to posting, sharing intimately, getting to know people here). I doubt my experience would be the same if I only checked in to SR once in a while. When you do SR most every day you really start to "know" people & their stuff.

I quit smoking. Yes, that was part of my initial plan, although I gave myself "anytime in the first six months" to go for it. I did it in the first two months. This was VERY related to my success not drinking! I have a long history of sobriety & relapse & so it is the "staying stopped" I had to plan for. Cigarettes are all wrapped up with alcohol for me! I can smoke without drinking, but can't drink without smoking. The painful process of quitting cigs was substantial & became one other incentive to not pick up a drink. Drinking without a cig would be no fun at all for me, and I don't want to smoke again, so that's that. (Ps. I got 6 months not smoking last week!).

Finally, I quit all my love/sex relationships (another part of my life connected with my drinking). I stopped Internet dating & "searching." I broke up with my live in boyfriend, didn't date in early recovery, let go of another ex who resurfaced & reconnected. All of those relationships were with heavy drinkers. I cannot be involved with a drinker. That's just me. It has been far simpler to have this be part of my plan. I have had a few times where a moment of flirting with a sober fellow has turned into a dinner date, but as soon as I catch myself I have stopped those too. I'm not ready. I know this seems extreme, but I am at almost 8 months sober, so my plan is working for me. Edit: I'm not joining a monestary - according to my "plan" I am allowed to actually fall in true love when I feel ready & happen upon the right (sober) person - my prior relationship behaviors weren't about true love..."

Other than the above, I do the "best I can". I attend a fair number of drinking events because of my work & seem to navigate them successfully. I enjoy my puppy, and take long daily walks with him. I eat relatively well, take vitamins, etc., but that's just part of trying to take good care of my self - none of that is part of my "sobriety plan."
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