Cascabel

In a recent thread in the “What is Recovery” section of this forum member Redmayne pointed out a similarity between part of the Stoic philosophy and the Serenity Prayer. The idea, expressed by Epictetus “ in his “Discourses”:

“What then is to be done? To make the best of what is in our power, and take the rest as it naturally happens”.

is much the same as is said in the serenity prayer written almost two thousand years later and attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr.

“God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference”

As one who has recently adopted the living philosophy of Stoicism, I feel that it has much to offer those of us who are struggling with sobriety, especially those of us who come to the “OK, I’ve quit drinking, now what do I do?” juncture. For me, it provides a vision of what comprises the notion of a “well-lived life” and a goal to which I can aspire. It also provides a set of guidelines to direct me to this well-lived life and provides a set of tools with which to accomplish it.

Stoicism is not merely an intellectual exercise like many of those philosophies confined to university philosophy departments. Stoicism does have some theoretical aspects, some with which I don’t agree, but largely it is a practical, living philosophy that requires both physical and mental attention and actions. Being a stoic requires effort beyond the simple mental gymnastics involved in being, for example, an existentialist. It is this effort and action that helps to occupy the time once spent drinking. And, the effort and action can help make one a better person as well.

Stoicism is probably not for everyone, I’m drawn to it because I am somewhat introverted and tend to internalize and intellectualize my experiences. A more extroverted person with more freely expressed feelings might not gain from the philosophy. But, whatever ones personality, I think it might be worth a try as an antidote to simple will power.

I have no intention here, by the way, of giving a short course in the Stoic philosophy. Rather, my intent is to show how it might be of assistance to those who struggle with the day-to-day details of staying sober.

What is Stoicism? The common notion of a stoic is of Mr. Spock in the TV series Star Trek: a totally logical, unemotional, joyless and autonomous individual. While logic and control of emotions are part of stoicism, joylessness and total autonomy are not. Most modern stoics are happy, convivial people who enjoy life and the company of other people. The difference is that stoics have a defined sense of purpose and a framework for a “life well lived”.

Stoicism is a living philosophy, one requiring daily effort and thought. The basic idea is that a life well lived is one that is “lived according to nature”. The term, “live according to nature”, means to live according to the natural character of a human being as well as to live as a part of a greater, interactive, universe. Living “according to nature” as a human being is to recognize that humans have been given the gift of reason and thus rationality is “according to” human nature and should be cultivated. Recognizing oneself as a part of a larger and integrated universe is also an important part of living according to nature and should also be cultivated.

Living according to nature is thought to induce a sense of eudaimonia in the individual. Eudaimonia is an ancient Greek term that can be approximated by “a state of grace” (Christianity), “enlightenment” (Buddhism), “hozho” (Navajo) or similar concepts. All of these terms loosely describe living in a state of ordered harmony, tranquility and awareness of being part of a larger whole.

To a stoic, excellence of character (Arete) is the only real good and departures from Arete are the only evil. Excellence of character is achieved by concentrating ones attention on the cardinal virtues: temperance, or moderation in all habits; courage, or the capacity to do those things one does not want to do; justice, or fairness in dealings with, and judgements of, all other people; and wisdom, or the capacity for making correct decisions. For someone working to stay sober, temperance and courage are habits worth cultivating and so is fairness (justice) to ones family. A part of ones daily stoic practice is to judge how ones every action is in agreement with the goal of personal virtue.

Another Stoic concept is that “It is not things that disturb us, but our judgements about those things.” This idea was later recognized and adopted as a central idea of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is based on the Stoic idea that the only things we can control are those things that are in our mind. We control our opinions, for example, and our intentions. External events are not in our control and are thus “beyond my powers”. This is the Serenity Prayer part of Stoicism. So, one has no control over the driver who is tailgating us but we do have control over how we react to it. A large part of a stoic’s daily practice is learning to distinguish between controllable and uncontrollable events. A stoic also recognizes that the outcomes of some uncontrollable events are more preferable than others. Thus wealth and health are preferable to their alternatives but not really “in our power”.

My daily practice is fairly simple:

In the morning, just after wakening, I spend a few minutes reviewing how my day is likely to unfold. I then try to match my actions and reactions to anticipated events. I also try to remind myself “today I will encounter my fair ration of jerks and misfits. They are that way because of ignorance, not an evil nature. My actions toward these people should reflect this understanding”.

During the day I try to practice the plans that I made in the morning “meditation” session. I also try to focus on one of the cardinal virtues when opportunity presents itself.

In the evening I review the day and try to determine whether individual actions were consistent with my morning intent. I also try to give some thought to “how might I have improved myself today.” These thoughts may provide help in planning the next day as well.

At any rate, for me, adopting the living Stoic philosophy has made it much easier to maintain my sobriety. It provides mental activity, structure, accountability and discipline to my daily life. I don’t feel that I will ever achieve “wisdom” sufficient to become a Stoic (capital S Stoic Sage). But, the goal is always there and it is one well worth attempting even though it’s achievement may be unlikely.


The following are a few links to places where the ideas of stoicism are much better explained than here:

opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com (How to be a Stoic)

reddit.com (Stoicism)

blogs.exeter.ac.uk/stoicismtoday/stoic-week-2013-handbook/

Thestoiclife.org