Hi everyone- well- I am back. I had over 18 months sober and was so blissfully happy and just like that - I allowed that idiot beast back into my life.
It was a conscious decision. I got divorced- this was a good thing and well, a girlfriend who was also single really wanted to go out. I sat at the bar with her all dressed to the 9s and looked her straight in the face and said "I will drink tonight, but if it gets bad again- please help me." Can you even believe I did this?!?! She is a drunk and was encouraging me to drink!!!! God, I am so disappointed with myself.
It stars out so slow. I only drank maybe once a week and then I met someone and the drunk dating began. I am a fun drunk date. Not saying it is pretty - but a good time girl. God I cannot believe this. I know better!!!!
After three or so months I am back to nightly drinking!!! I was training for a figure contest and now that I have this layer of alcohol fat on me - forget it. I have only worked out once in the last week! Sober I was getting in at least 6 and looked and felt amazing!
I just want to declare that I am back. This is the hardest thing I have ever typed. Please know that this stuff sneaks up on you like nothing I have ever seen. Peace
