PendulumIsland - I know exactly the miserable feeling you are describing.
Self pity - and I hate to use that word, and not saying that's what you are in - but for me, self pity has been a big reason for me to drink. "Poor me Poor me i'm miserable Pour me another drink!" It gave me an excuse. My life sucks so might as well drink.
No, it doesn't suck..but it will if you drink.
Someone suggested a gratitude list - I think I will do that!!