So after about 5 days sober, I drank again. Today is my second day sober.
When I was sober those 5 days, I was happy, positive, and could see the light.
Now this time, working on my 2nd attempt at sobriety. I'm an anxiety case. I didn't sleep all night. I have flashbacks of all the crazy things i've done when drinking. I feel like since i'm not secure in my denial anymore, I just cannot believe I let myself get on this path of destruction. What the hell was I thinking?
I am so anxious and scared!
I know when drinking, a helluva lot worse can happen, so why am I so scared of being sober and dealing with the consequences of my drinking.
I do have a plan, that i'm putting into place. First thing is for me to get a sponsor..just a temp one that I can contact daily.
With all the lies and sneaky things i've pulled off in the past, I wonder if I'm damaged beyond repair. Stinking thinking is what i'm doing.
This time in my life sucks!
Please tell me it gets better!
Also, I'm not damaged beyond repair, right?