I thank everyone for the welcomes. I have rarely felt a sense of belonging so I appreciate every comment. Hearing hope helps more than I can say, and I am just trying to keep my head above water right now. Sometimes feels like I'm barely breathing. I have to hope this will get better.
Yes, I normally have a few hobbies, but right now I can't seem to even get my brain in the right place....piano, reading, hiking, playing with our dogs.