Thread: future tripping
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:56 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
LifeRecovery
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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I have struggled with future tripping all of my life.

One of the things that I forget when I am future tripping is that I don't have to "stay" in the relationship that I am future tripping about.

In my case I was trying to act perfectly so my loved one would not drink. I had very tunnel vision about that. What I would wear, say, how I would be. I spent a lot of time/energy trying to pick up moods, encourage him etc. I thought that 1 + 1 = 2 (which is way to rational for an irrational disease).

I never considered that I could remove myself from the relationship.....and thus remove myself from a lot of the future tripping. I thought I had gotten married so I needed to stick with it, and my future tripping was about how to make that work.

I used it to try and control and uncontrollable situation....if I could plan it all out it would work out okay.

It also served for me to not be very present when I was in it.....I was so much in the future that I never asked myself if I wanted to stay in the relationship.

So Free I get it. I had to look at the core of "why" I was future tripping to help me figure out what was truly useful to me and what was part of my old way of coping.

Great question.
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