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Old 04-10-2015, 06:34 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Berrybean
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Secretary - I would highly recommend it. There is no need to be alone.

I felt like me and my (still drinking) partner were drifting further and further apart for the first 6 months of my sobriety. It was the AA meetings that helped me change and be able to cope. I'm not sure if he has changed much, but I am stronger now, so we get on better. When we don't get on better I know it isn't long til I'll be in the company of some understanding people.

I'm very lucky as I've found a home group where there are as many ladies as there are men, and it's a lovely place to go to. It's like stepping into a warm bath.

I agree that Sisterbobby maybe should find some advice about protecting herself financially. Also maybe start thinking about where you can go if the proverbial hits the fan. But this is a really strange time to consider making any drastic changes, so as others have said, try to bide your time until you're sure about what you want.

Do you know what he means by your 'attitude'? Obviously, I know neither you or your drunk hubby, so please be assured that I'm really not insinuating anything with that question. Just speaking from my own experience, I went through a really tough patch which progressed into depression from around 3 - 6 months. I suspect that most people close to me realised it was an issue and that I was becoming quite irrational, stressed and over-emotional way before I realised it myself. I needed help. And I got it - by getting a sponsor and starting to work the AA program, and also by the Head at the school where I work (my boss lady!!) getting me some free counselling sessions. (Not that it's any excuse for your hubby to speak to a friend about you in that way AT ALL). I just thought it might be worth you asking yourself the question, as often PAWs does this to us as part of the recovery process.

I'm attaching an article about PAWs, which I only heard of way after it was an issue for me. I think it could have saved me, and those who work and live with me a lot of pain and frustration if I'd known about it back then. Hopefully you won't need it, and a parachute would be far more useful, but just in case...

PAWS | Digital Dharma
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