Thread: future tripping
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Old 04-09-2015, 05:19 PM
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freetosmile
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future tripping

I get frustrated when told I'm future tripping.

I feel like there is a thin line between predicting behavior in order to secure your own safety and future tripping.

It's so hard because when you've lived with an A you find their behavior to be so unpredictable that it BECOMES predictable....I hope that makes sense. So you work so hard to protect all your "parts" so that you can maintain the sanity for the sake of the household. It's one thing to allow them to have their OWN consequenses..but when those consequences continually have negative effects on YOU- you start to take some protective measures to ensure that you can still function and make ends meet while they are "dealing with the consequences".


Also I believe that a lot of us are abused, which makes future tripping damn near essential to survival. You HAVE to predict the behavior of your abuser to ensure your own safety. You MUST walk the egg shells or pay the price. You learn very quickly the predictable/unpredictable pattern of your abuser and use this knowledge to somehow live SOME resemblence of a life around THEIR clock..not yours. Which of course is NO way to live...but a lot of us here haven't left yet...so we continue to "future trip".

I don't know where to draw the line with all this stuff.....it's hard NOT to future trip when you are bound to this person by law and in the eyes of the community, kids school, etc.....they are an extension of you. It's hard not to worry about the next thing they eff up.

Thoughts on future tripping?

Again, this probably goes back to letting go of what you can't control- let go and let God...but this is a tough one for me. I'm a compulsive worrier.
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