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Old 05-20-2005, 07:29 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Thirty
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MG, HT, and WS thank you for the support. Since posting I have had a chance to look over my situation a bit more. I think that as a result of my chance meeting with that young man I have learned allot about my self. As with you MG I had spent a ton of time effort and money in counseling.

MG your observation about keeping the ones you love safe is very interesting. This has been, and probably will be for the rest of my life, a paramount cocern of mine. I think that shows by the career I chose. I even went as far as keeping tabs on people who I had lost contact with. I would send out little feelers via my police work and get responses back on how they were doing. I just wanted to make sure the ones I loved were OK and still in this world. MG I know you have been through allot and you have every right to want to keep yours safe. You seem like you are very in tune to your present state. I have admiration for that.

When we see, or are involved in these traumatic episodes our brain does some pretty strange stuff. The point I'm trying to make is how we react. When I was involved with the shooting. There were between 30 and 40 rounds fired. I heard 2, the first 2. I know the young man shot at me 3 times, only because I saw the muzzel flash 3 times. (The fire at the end of the barrel). I did not regain my hearing until it had been over for 30-45 seconds. Was this a defense mechinism for focus reasons or was it my mind trying to keep me from expierencing the entire tramua ?

HT THANKS and YOU ARE WELCOME. As I said in my first post When I hried on the PD it was a job and nothing more. It did not stay that way. It became a way of life. A way of life I was proud to live.

WS Thank you, your thoughts are heart warming. I can tell you have a huge heart. You are so right when it comes to loss of siblings and PTSD, you have to talk about it. I can't believe how much seems to have been lifted from me by just putting it down in this forum

Thanks to you all

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