Hi YLS try to remember what brought you here in the first place
Also it sounds as if your overwhelmed by the 'forever' thing which ive heard before from others my advice for this would be just for today think like that
you can stay sober just for today which isnt overwhelming worry about tomorrow....tomorrow
we only have today and 1 day at a time we can stay sober
It gets easier & i promise you life is better and more fulfilling like this