which brings up another thing
after reading the daffodil story, it touched on a sore spot with me about all the changes i have endured in my life. all the starting over i have had to do. all the moves i have had to make. how can you see your beautiful garden if you have to keep giving it up?
this is a BIG part of my holding on. i have worked very hard and some things are not done with my home which i would like to finish. so with everything up in the air, is he going, when will this happen, will i be the one going--it puts everything on hold. maybe i shouldn't put any more money in the house, if i am not going to be here much longer. may be part of being a codependent however, it seems to me that it is a legitimate concern which maybe most people with the same experience would feel.
this sucks. i WANT to plant 50,000 daffadils somewhere, but i have never been able to stay in one place long enough to do it. i have been here the longest ever but now it feels like i won't be staying here much longer either-and once again, i will be losing my continuity.