Couple quitting drinking together?
My boyfriend of a couple of months is trying to quit drinking again. He's the only person in my life who has told me I have a drinking problem. He has a 25-year history of intermittent drug and alcohol abuse and has been to rehab a couple of times. He also spent time in prison for (would you believe) multiple DUIs. He has been sober for years at a time--his longest stretch is 2.5 years without a drink--but he typically relapses over the holidays. His brother is a whiskey distiller of some renown, and even being aware of the folly, he allows himself a treat when his brother comes home for Christmas with a bottle for everyone in the family. Anyway, he has gone the AA route before and likes it, especially the service element among longtime members and sponsors. He's been encouraging me to go with him to a meeting. I'll probably do it both to support him and out of curiosity, but I think something like SMART Recovery is more my speed.
My question: I don't know if trying to quit together is a good thing or a bad thing. What do people think? We both tend to rationalize our slips and give the other permission to drink. We've both slipped this week, he when he was out playing poker at a bar, and I last night at home watching the NCAA basketball final. I had three bottles of beer and feel bad now because I was doing so well...it had been a week since I'd had a drink (good going for me).
He thinks that I'm not truly committed to sobriety at this stage, and he's not wrong. Part of me freaks out at the thought of never having another delicious IPA. I've felt so good during the dry stretches, physically and mentally, and yet I still cave to the desire knowing that the pleasure is fleeting. I imagine this sounds familiar to a lot of people. How do I get a handle on it?
This is a bit all over the place...just wondering if anyone has been there. I know this question is pretty involved and depends on a lot of different things, such as people's personalities, etc.