meadowsis

Its been a long while since I posted. My AB went to prison for a year, I detached quite a bit as I was always his go to person, I let him deal with his mistakes and I tried to move on. I had problems with picking up the pieces when he fell previously, so I finally just let go and moved on.

I continued therapy for my codependency issues, but less focus on my brother finally. We had our first baby who was a preemie, so my life completely shifted, I love being a mom now.

My AB got out of prison almost a year ago, spent a few months in a halfway house and since september has lived in his own place, worked and seemed to be getting his life back on track. He was truly starting from scratch when he got out, he didn't even have clothes, but it was his hill to climb. He wasn't working a program that I know of outside of the requirements for parole.

He seemed to be getting his head on straight though, especially the last couple months sounding more upbeat, doing more activities and socializing, etc. He has been reaching out to family, not because he needed something, but to just say hi, console someone who lost their dog, you know....normal stuff that we hadn't seen in a long long time.

But I got a call from his friend this morning that he failed his UA and was put back in county.

SO, of course he is asking me to pack his stuff up at his apartment and such (in 30 days he has a hearing to know if he gets out or goes back for 2 yrs). His last screw up I told him I wasn't his resource anymore, but that was almost 2 years ago. I know recovery has slip ups, so do you support them to some degree or let them fall all the way again?

I have an appt with my therapist later this week, but curious if there is a time you shift from letting them suffer the full weight of their consequences (ie, leaving his stuff and truck to whatever), or if there is a time you help at all while they are trying to stay clean? I don't trust my decisions in this area.

Thoughts?

Thank you